it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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