i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
