i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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