No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
