he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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