You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
