Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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