God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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