His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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