The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
