How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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