Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
