Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
