I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize