Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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