my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize