so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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