Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
