At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
