took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
