apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
don't judge my taste in strippers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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