I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
