32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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