dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
