so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
