The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
