Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
