he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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