You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
