i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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