My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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