Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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