No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize