I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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