If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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