I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
