Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
