saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
