I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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