the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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