she smelled like a LAN party
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
