Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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