I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize