Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
