I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize