Do you still have your period?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
