I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
