absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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