He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize