Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
