Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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