Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
