I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
