And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
