I wanna bring you to show and tell
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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