You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
