also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
