I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
