I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize