butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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