woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
