remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
