I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
