Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
