then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
