My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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