Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
