Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
