He is like the real live version of the state fair..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am naked and annoyed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
