If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
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Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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